Roasted Pineapples
by LizzyBethTLTLXD
Summary: When Dylan decides to stream at 6:00 am without Nico, things get a little weird. Warning: Contains pineapples.


**Author's Note: Thank you guys so much for reading this! You guys are so awesome.**

 **Especially the pineapple! XD Enjoy!**

Nico woke up.

It's kind of the first thing he did every morning. Most humans have tried it at some point or other.

He also yawned. Again, a pretty common thing to do, but for the sake of the plot, he did it at that exact moment because it would coincide perfectly with his phone beeping.

He checked his phone sleepily. There were already several texts waiting for him.

 **Emmy:** You do realize that Dylan is streaming right now.

 **Emmy:** He won't let me stream with him for some reason.

 **Emmy:** Get your lazy butt out of bed Nico.

 **Emmy:** NOW!

Confusion lay heavy in Nico's uncaffeinated mind. He hadn't had his tea yet so nothing made much sense. Dylan streaming without him at the ungodly hour of 8:00 am was a ridiculous idea. He decided to ask Emmy what was going on.

 **Nico:** What are you talking about Emmy?

 **Emmy:** Finally you awake! He's been streaming since 6

 **Nico:** Why would he do that?

 **Emmy:** Why don't you ask him that yourself?

Nico grudgingly made his way over to the computer. As he clicked and typed his way to Dylan's stream he wondered aloud, for the sake of the readers, what could have happened.

"Did I miss something special?" He asked himself in a very question like manner.

As the stream popped up he watched Dylan's little avatar as it punched a tree and broke it. For the first time in his life, Nico questioned the logic behind that but only because he wondered if a human could do that.

Just for your information, they can't. Save yourself the medical bill and don't punch a tree.

Seriously.

Nico also noticed that, unlike normal, Dylan had a face cam. It was a little shaky so Nico figured that Dylan was using his phone because it would be plot convenient for the camera to be portable.

The chat was, as usual, going crazy about pineapples. It was a very common subject matter.

 **Abby Eliott:** He's probably still asleep.

 **Owen Stewart:** Pineapples don't sleep.

Dylan glimpsed at the chat. "Objection, they do. Nico sleeps therefor, pineapples do as well."

 **Portal_Hopper:** LOL!

 **Abby Eliott:** Nico is the pineapple king!

 **Creeper_Gold:** Clearly! XD

 **Diego Brophy:** All hail the pineapple king!

Dylan laughs. "All hail indeed. Do you think that Nico would be a happy pineapple king?"

 **Portal_Hooper:** He would be a good king!

 **Vi Yayen:** Of course he would be happy!

"Oh yeah, silly question." Dylan says as he pushes someone off the world. "Green stream dream team, am I right?"

 **Joel Damen:** Green Stream Dream Team for life!

 **Alexa Samtamaria:** YAY!

 **Creeper_Gold:** I wonder if the pineapple will ever show up?

 **Vi Yayen:** YOU DISRESPECT THE KING!

Nico furrows his brow then types,

 **Nico Hunter:** What's up?

 **BigPanda1000:** About time!

 **Owen Stewart:** Arise mighty pineapple!

 **Abby Eliott:** All hail our lord and savior the pineapple king!

 **Alexa Samtamaria:** Hail!

 **Portal_Hopper:** Lol

Dylan glances at his chat. "What's everyone going crazy about down there?" He smiles. "Nico you made it!"

 **Nico Hunter:** Of course I made it. Why didn't you tell me about this stream?

He really did want to know.

Unfortunately, Dylan didn't seem to want to answer because that would be too soon in the story. "We were all waiting for you." Then he picked up his camera and started walking to the door.

This stream had gotten very vlogy…

Meanwhile, chat was very chatty.

 **Abby Eliott:** WTF are you doing Dylan?!

 **Creeper_Gold:** What pineapple sorcery is this?

 **Nico Hunter:** I never did anything!

"You know," Dylan said in a conversational voice. "This is a lovely conversation we are having."

Nico ran his fingers through his hair in confusion. "It would be a good conversation if we had A, had a conversation and B, you could hear me." He muttered.

"Did you ever doubt I could?" Dylan winked very conversationally. "Thanks to this story I CAN HEAR YOU AND YOU CAN HEAR ME!"

Nico cringed in a very conversational way at the outdoor voice Dylan was using.

 **Owen Stewart:** Dylan, how can you hear Nico?

 **BigPanda1000:** Is the Pineapple king there with you?

 **Nico Hunter:** No I'm at my house.

 **Alexa Samtamaria:** Skype?

 **Nico Hunter:** Nope.

 **Diego Brophy:** Well this is awkward… XD

Dylan paused in the doorway of a room to look knowingly at his camera. "I can hear you typing away Nico! Do not worry, all will be revealed."

He stepped into the room and pointed the camera at a lonely backpack sitting in the middle of the floor.

"What's that." Nico asked.

Dylan turned the camera back to himself and grinned. "You shall see." He proceeded to walk over to the backpack and, while holding the camera so Nico and chat could see what he was doing, riffled through it.

Dylan stuck his entire arm into the bag and searched around. Then he pulled out a perfectly square cake. "Pineapple cake. Nice, but no." He tossed the cake behind him.

 **Abby Eliott:** Pineapple cake!

 **Vi Yayen:** Don't get made into a cake Nico!

 **Portal_Hopper:** References…

"Hang on." Dylan muttered. Carefully he hung the camera in midair then proceeded to stick his entire head and torso into the bag in search of the mysterious item. After a few minutes of suspicious clanking, Dylan emerged holding-

"Hey Nico, do you like it? It looks just like you!" The pineapple was enormous. It almost completely obscured Dylan's face as he held it, kind of like you would a child, on one hip.

"Oh, one more thing!" Dylan reached off the camera screen and produced a can of spray paint from out of nowhere. With one eye closed and his tongue between his teeth, he sprayed something on the pineapple. When he turned it back around it had Nico's minecraft face on it. "Tada! What do you think?"

"It looks great Dylan…." Nico said uncertainly.

"Wonderful." Dylan grabbed the camera again and started off to another unknown destination.

"So Nico, I was thinking about your house recently." Dylan said as if all of this was normal. "And somewhere among the pineapples the topic of volcanoes crossed my mind."

"Okay…" There was of course a volcano sort of nearish-but-farish from Nico's house. Nico however was quite confused about what that had to do with anything. "Where are you going Dylan?" He asked in his accent that the author believes sounds vaguely Russian.

"Patience young Padawan." Dylan insisted as he descended a set of stairs. "We are descending stairs right now."

Nico sighed. "I don't need a narration Dylan. What the crap is going on?" It was all a very confusing scenario that had been conjured up in the mind of the author at a very late hour. Sleep deprivation is a wonderful thing…

Dylan shrugged as best he could while holding a pineapple. "Too bad, I'm narrating anyway because this is a story and we need a narrator." He turned the camera to display a dark room full of chains and sharp implements. "This is the torture chamber!"

He continued through the basement with a look of excitement on his face. "Now, I know you have a _huge_ volcano," He opened another door and pointed the camera at a very small, very active volcano. Magma bubbled and oozed from it. "But I have one too!" He exclaimed.

Chat latched onto this at once.

 **Alexa Samtamaria:** Twinsies!

 **Joel Damen:** This is all your doing Pineapple King!

 **Nico Hunter:** I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!

Dylan walked to the volcano and stood, teetering on the edge. He held the camera out so everyone could clearly see him and the volcano. "So, Nico, do you remember this huge pineapple that I've been carrying around like it's my child?"

Nico rolled his eyes so far into his skull that he saw his brain. "Yes, of course I remember."

"Well," Dylan announced. "This pineapple represents you." Nico nodded. "And guess what I'm going to do with this effigy. Go ahead, guess."

Nico sighed softly, tired of all this ridiculous dialogue. "I don't know, sacrifice someone to it?"

"No!"

"Eat it?"

"Oh god no!" Dylan sounded horrified at the idea.

"Kiss it."

"You sound a bit to eager..." Dylan narrated.

"Are you going to-"

Dylan waved the camera around until Nico stopped. "You got it wrong every time!" Dylan grinned like a child that had been given candy. "I'm going to do this!"

He proceeded to drop the pineapple into the volcano.

"Dude, what did you do that for!?" Nico asked in outrage. Why would Dylan do such a thing to a pineapple that represented him?

Dylan laughed into the camera as he faced the volcano. A chance bubble of magma burst, splashing Dylan. "OW!" He exclaimed. Sadly his reaction caused him to fumble with the camera.

It fell into the lava below.

The last thing Nico heard before the audio cut out was, "NO! My camera." and an image of Dylan reaching for it and falling into the volcano after the camera.

Nico sat there in complete shock, unable to figure out whether it had all been staged or if he had just watched his friend burn to a crisp.

Even chat was subdued.

 **Owen Stewart:** Um guys, did Dylan just…

 **Abby Eliott:** NO DYLAN WAS JUST FAKING IT!

 **Creeper_Gold:** That didn't look fake, it just is impossible.

 **Portal_Hopper:** Nico, are you okay?

Well no, he was most definitely _not_ okay!

Just then Nico's phone buzzed. Still stunned he checked it. There was an alert showing that there was minor seismic activity in his area.

Nico tossed his phone down in disbelief. How could this all happen to him at once? What had caused Dylan's sacrifice? Where had the volcano come from and most importantly, was Dylan still alive?

It was all too much.

 _ **BOOM!**_

The explosion scared Nico right out of his chair. As he lay, sprawled on the ground, he managed to think, _That was the fastest eruption ever. We had hardly any warning…_

A second boom brought Nico up fast.

That hadn't been a volcanic eruption. That had been the sound of his door being kicked in.

He got to his feet and raced to the door in anger. Of all the times for someone to break in-

It was Dylan. Still smoking from his trip through the earth's mantle he looked relatively okay. Sure his clothes were singed on the corners and he was having the mother of all bad hair days but he was, well, alive.

"How-" Nico the pineapple managed to choke out.

Dylan gave him a crooked grin. "So, did you like my pineapple joke?"

 **A/N: No pineapples were harmed in the making of this fanfiction.**

 **Love ya guys! Green Stream Dream Team for life!**


End file.
